Nonetheless, I’m quite excited to discover I’m a synesthete. Only problem is, it’s a new word so I have to decide on it’s gender and personality.

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2011/11/111123-evolution-brain-synesthesia-taste-colors-sounds-creative-science/#

so, i’m going to undertake a measure of micro-blogging. to get me back into the swing of writing wise and witty snippets of life in the publishing industry and as a new zealander in the middle east.

see me experiment at tumblr: readingreneessance.tumblr.com

yallah! let’s tumble.

Here’s my thursday line up this week:

Book of the Week:

I’ve been raving about it on twitter but I want to rave some more. Lloyd Jones//Hand Me Down World. Read it and weep, wardle & wonder. It’s up there with one of my best books of the year.

Video of the Week:

As many know, I am obsessive over fonts. Sometimes when I am a little sad I’ll look at font books to cheer me. I’ve also joined the campaign to ban comic sans. But this video is an honorable (and hilarious) fight back from the font of feebleness: http://vimeo.com/17450666

Title of the Week: 

It’s too close to call

Inspiration of the week:

In honor of those inspiring Belgians, I came across a site of ‘Famous Belgian Proverbs’.

Here’s two for your Thursday Muse:

Don’t make waves.

Money buys cherries.

Bonne journée !

So here are my Thursday Thoughts on Things (I’m aiming to make it a regular column, but I’m not renowned for my methodical muses).

Thursday Word: Vehicular [vee-hik-yuh-ler]: pertaining to a vehicle; caused by a vehicle or serving as a vehicle. Some people don’t believe me the word exists. Thus it’s pertinence here.

Thursday Headline: Owner of Killer Bear Chokes to Death on Sex Toy. I kid you not. Check MSNBC

Thursday Read: Just started ‘The Churchills: In Love & War’

Thursday Inspiration: What is your writing style? Discover it amidst ‘The Weird Writing Habit’s of Famous Authors’ . I am more of a Truman Capote, I think.

Thursday Quote: It is Bastille Day after all, so here is a French saying to inspire you all:

“Ce n’est pas aux vieux singes qu’on apprend à faire des grimaces”
You can’t teach old monkeys how to make faces.

You can’t teach an old dog new tricks? True, judging on how I still haven’t adjusted to Thursday being the end of the week.

Happy weekend,

Renee x

Really Hard At Work. Really.

Recently, I overheard some associates talk about blogging. I was engaging in another palaver, but i like to think I’m a conversational multi-tasker and can follow more than one conversation at once. “Oh, Renee used to blog” the sidelined conversationalists convened.
Switching repartees, I defended myself as the ROCKSTAR of blogging. Not because I’m top of the charts or wear leather pants or demand high thread-count sheets (actually that bit is true) but because I write with fanfare then hide away for a while, then BAZAAM Batman, I am back … and expect everyone to follow my comeback with gusto.
But it doesn’t really work that way. I’m not a rockstar. I don’t even like karaoke.
So in my quest to be classed a blogger rather than one from the otherside (*shudder*, a non-blogger) I’m going to pick this up. It’s fun. It’s also a lazy way for me to keep the askers updated on what I am up to. And don’t try saying to your associate that said laziness is the reason for my blogging sloth. Remember, I am a CMT.

So here’s 10 facts I’d like to re-begin with to re-introduce my blog:

1. Yes, I am still in Abu Dhabi and I married a Sudanese-Czech-American-Arab after a few months here, and we now have a cat called Suitcase. (Rescued, of course – rockstars adopt African children. I marry an African and adopt a cat).
2. I can now confirm airport-stereotyping: Having an Arab surname does indeed mean more delays at customs. Especially in Melbourne.
3. When at Melbourne airport, it pays not to avoid extra-custom-checks-just-for-people-with-Arab-names with the line: “But we’ve just got married!” (Read: You married an Arab. No champagne nor upgrades; instead scrupulous searches and suspicious Australian stares).
4. Yes, I’ve taken most of this year off. Let’s be honest. I burnt out setting up an offshore office. Thanks to my team for allowing me to sleep 2011 away on my high-thread-count sheets while they carried on the project. It’s looking bigger and better than ever. So rock-ish!
5. I think I am one of the only people in the world who doesn’t want J.K. Rowling to write another Harry Potter book.
6. I am not Australian nor do I sound like one.  For external reference (esp for the annoying guy at the gymn) please view this Flight of the Conchords clip.
7. I secretly am terrible at grammar. Actually, read my blog and it isn’t so secret.
8. I secretly drink a lot of sauvignon blanc in a Muslim nation, even though I’m interested in adopting Islam as my religion. NOTE: because I am not a rockstar I will not be changing my name to Yusuf Islam.
9. I like to think of myself as down-to-earth, although when the electronic cat-litter-box doesn’t function right or the curtains don’t close properly –  I call the maid.
10. I read a lot. I am a New Zealander living in the Middle East. I am a Publisher. These three actualities (along with proving I am not an Australian) are what my blog is based upon.

What is going on?

I am neglected my blog of late because I am consumed by the atrocities that seem to be occurring in every corner of you.

Mubarek has me mesmerized, passively absorbing a multiplicity of media. Al Jazeera is live on TV, there’s tweeting, trending, and oh, of course I’ll join the ‘Virtual March of Millions’ on facebook. What’s this, an RSS feed of camels being beaten *live!* in Tahir square? I know that camel! Google deceased dromedaries! Michael Jackson is really dead this time!

me & michael jackson the camel in happier, more alive, days

And then world, well, I know we all have ‘strong’ feelings about Australians from time to time, but the floods and fires all at once is a little extreme. I put the TV on mute (those Queensland accents!!) and watched submissively as houses floated down a river. That’s sad even for pavlova-thieves. My bank sent me an IM to ask if I wanted to donate to the victims. I did. Then I sent an e-postcard to the prime minister of Japan asking him to stop whaling. Douzo.

So this morning over breakfast I discover some extended coverage on Kenya. The tragedy and starvation. Droughts, burnt huts, no aid, floppy babies and deserted elderly people. I think they were chewing their own cheeks. I cried into my avocado toast. (On the plus side the avocados were from Australia, so that should help their economy a little). How did I not know about this? Did someone forget to invite me to join a facebook group? Who is saving Kenya?

Obama I bet everyone is going to blame you again. It’s your sputnik moment.

Oh, don’t even get me started on the sadness of the Soviet.

So world, I’m hoping things get a bit more cheery soon. In the meantime, I proffer 5 suggestions for anyone else who is experiencing world doom like me…

1. Don’t revert to the E! News when you are seeking happier broadcasts. Kim Kardashian’s botox bulletin is a whole new type of depressing.
2. Buy Australian avocados. Even though New Zealand ones are better. Actually, if you shop at Spinney’s on the Corniche (Abu Dhabi) the sign says they’re Australian avocados but they’re actually from New Zealand. So you get the best of both worlds.
3. Save the whales. Send an e-card.
4. Eat your crusts, even if you’re crying. People in Kenya would long for burnt toast right now. Show some gratitude.
5. Life is short, especially for camels. Tip their owners when you get the chance.

Yeah yeah writers, we’ve all heard enough about your creative stagnation. I have a far more serious first-world problem: Reader’s Block.

This is an alarming case of RB because my NY resolution was to read 100 books, and normally I pride myself (translation: boast with exclamation during any conversational pause) at the speed at which I can devour a good book.

Often i experience QRB – Quasi-Reader’s-Block – after I have read a particularly excellent book. But QRB can usually be cured by a ‘Rebound Book’ – a book which is started but not finished inorder to bring one back down to earth: not all books are particularly excellent. One can then begin the next read with lower expectations which will be superseded and, phew, a love of reading is restored.

But this month I have just stumbled blindly from book to book. I’ve tried every genre.  I’ve tried every format. Historical novels, non-fiction, manuscripts I know are doomed, biographies, chic-lit (brave announcement there) and I even pondered curiously at my partner’s large sci-fi collection. At this point I knew something was drastically wrong with me so I turned to the self-help genre. Nope. Nada. Nothing holds my focus. Do I still have a literary pulse?

In the mean time I have watched three series of ‘Mad Men’, twelve episodes of ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ and I am about to start learning Zumba on our Xbox Kinnect.

It’s code Read. Somebody save me.

http://bit.ly/ihjb27

And yes, I’ve blatantly directed it to open on the article about me. Shameless. But in Arabia we call it pride.

lay-ta-tun sa’ii-da,

Renee

I’ve been slightly unwell the last week ( don’t worry I’m not going to talk about it- I can’t stand people who talk about illness unless it’s in some really self-deprecating hilarious way, or in some humble manner to teach us all a lesson — as long as it’s a Really Good Lesson and hopefully still funny). However despite feeling sorry for myself and method-acting like a Shortland Street star, being cooped up in bed has been bearable with the aid of my astounding new technological companions. Reification is in.

For instance, I decided being unwell in the sunny abu desert isn’t the same as being unwell & tucked up inside on a wet Whanganui day. Solution? The iPad has an application that makes the soothing sound of rain. It also has an app to replicate sirens incase I really wanted to pretend I was on Shortland Street, or just cause some general chaos amidst the apartment building. (hello technology, wireless speakers!) For dire circumstances there is an app that reproduces sheep sounds incase I miss New Zealand too much. What I want to know is why there isn’t an app that combines rain, sirens and sheep all at once, then I could method-act like I was in South Auckland.

My MacBook may have come with the Christmas gift of 623 books, & my bookshelf may be bulging at the seams, but I wanted a new release to cheer me, now! (Spot the product of the microwave generation). Solution? Kindle will “whisper sync” any book to me. I love that whisper bit. It’s like a secret discovery just for me. Oh, and later my partner when he receives his credit card statement.

Did you think I need some exercise to speed my recovery? Well fear not: I’m learning tai chi through the xbox kinnect. It’s hard too- the sensor doesn’t hesitate to give you zero points & deduct your calorie count if you don’t plié properly before the rooster pose. And if you stop to take a sip of wine? The sensor senses that too! Talk about big brother.

And let us not forget Facebook! Which allows me to feel I have far more friends than I actually do. I haven’t seen you for three years but it’s nice to know your lawns need mowing, your child isn’t toilet trained and I can “like” that you’re having crayfish for dinner. (Actually that’s another thing I can’t stand — people who post what they eat as a Facebook status. Sorry if I’ve offended anyone. Poke me. Or tweet me. Whatever).

For now, I’m off to listen to a little ocean noise (from my iPhone not the beach across the road, idiot!) & maybe bluetooth a grocery list. By the way, this is my first blog post through word press from the iPad.

No wonder the flu resulted in so many deaths in the olden days. No cool gadgets. An apple product a day seriously does help keep the doctor away.

Happy new year all,
iRenée

new website design... as noted below

It is the first day back at work post the Eid holiday. There is a chance I am overly-caffeinated.

I am still trying to learn a little about the significance of Eid, and the related Hajj pilgrimage to Mecca. Whilst I was holidaying in Doha, someone mentioned that it is comparable to our Christmas. I can’t qualify this, but I can say that post-Eid feels like Boxing Day in New Zealand: my clothes are too tight and I want to sleep for a week. Oh, and we did receive a gift: a shiny new stove/oven from the building manager, equipped with meat rotesserie function. I didn’t break it to him that after 17 years of vegetarianism I would not be slaughtering a lamb for the Eid feast.

Doha was like a dramatically silenced version of Abu Dhabi. The skyline and architecture were beautiful, but much of it remained incomplete. The Hilton, opposite where we stayed, has abandoned construction due to the entire building starting to sink into the bay. Many other buildings seemed to have abandoned construction. The antithesis to my new home on the corniche (waterfront) of Abu Dhabi, where construction is going on 24/7. The sound of pumps and cranes has become synonymous to a sense of reassuring homeliness.

Work wise I feel completely scattered (not helped by the excess caffeine in my system). There’s New Zealand projects and Middle Eastern projects: the former which are peaking in the lead-up to Christmas, the latter which are escalating as I finally begin to establish my presence here. It would be really helpful if everyone wrote nice emails (don’t you realise when you’re precious and demanding you go to the back of the queue?) and if Etisalat provided reliable phone and internet service. During my dealings with them I also have to remember the precious & demanding law of consequential priority.

In amidst the chaos though, the marvellous superstar that is JACKY DWANE has launched the first stage of our new website… www.steadanddaughters.com. Stage two, the online bookstore, will be launched… as soon as the staff at Paige’s Book Gallery are ready. Each time I try to reach them they’re consumed by Christmas chaos & customers. I do miss being around that store at this time of year. The place is abuzz with bookselling, festivity and Christmas wrapping. Customers bring in the Paige’s girls a plethora of edible delights (which although I’m more on the publishing side of the business, I consider it my managerial right to eat the gifted food) and after hours the wine flows in mirth. Last year wine was also required to console my mother, whom despaired when she store was so full no more people could fit in the doors. It isn’t the worst problem in the world, but still – stay tuned for 2011 expansions.

So the moral of this week’s blog is:

1) If you’re in Whanganui please go and hang out at Paige’s Book Gallery & enjoy the festivity for me. My mother will make sure there is room for you.

2) Be nice.

3) Go to Doha to escape construction noise but probably avoid the Hilton.

Eid Mubarek!