Techno twenty eleven, by iRenee

Technology freaking astounds me.

I’ve been slightly unwell the last week ( don’t worry I’m not going to talk about it- I can’t stand people who talk about illness unless it’s in some really self-deprecating hilarious way, or in some humble manner to teach us all a lesson — as long as it’s a Really Good Lesson and hopefully still funny). However despite feeling sorry for myself and method-acting like a Shortland Street star, being cooped up in bed has been bearable with the aid of my astounding new technological companions. Reification is in.

For instance, I decided being unwell in the sunny abu desert isn’t the same as being unwell & tucked up inside on a wet Whanganui day. Solution? The iPad has an application that makes the soothing sound of rain. It also has an app to replicate sirens incase I really wanted to pretend I was on Shortland Street, or just cause some general chaos amidst the apartment building. (hello technology, wireless speakers!) For dire circumstances there is an app that reproduces sheep sounds incase I miss New Zealand too much. What I want to know is why there isn’t an app that combines rain, sirens and sheep all at once, then I could method-act like I was in South Auckland.

My MacBook may have come with the Christmas gift of 623 books, & my bookshelf may be bulging at the seams, but I wanted a new release to cheer me, now! (Spot the product of the microwave generation). Solution? Kindle will “whisper sync” any book to me. I love that whisper bit. It’s like a secret discovery just for me. Oh, and later my partner when he receives his credit card statement.

Did you think I need some exercise to speed my recovery? Well fear not: I’m learning tai chi through the xbox kinnect. It’s hard too- the sensor doesn’t hesitate to give you zero points & deduct your calorie count if you don’t plié properly before the rooster pose. And if you stop to take a sip of wine? The sensor senses that too! Talk about big brother.

And let us not forget Facebook! Which allows me to feel I have far more friends than I actually do. I haven’t seen you for three years but it’s nice to know your lawns need mowing, your child isn’t toilet trained and I can “like” that you’re having crayfish for dinner. (Actually that’s another thing I can’t stand — people who post what they eat as a Facebook status. Sorry if I’ve offended anyone. Poke me. Or tweet me. Whatever).

For now, I’m off to listen to a little ocean noise (from my iPhone not the beach across the road, idiot!) & maybe bluetooth a grocery list. By the way, this is my first blog post through word press from the iPad.

No wonder the flu resulted in so many deaths in the olden days. No cool gadgets. An apple product a day seriously does help keep the doctor away.

Happy new year all,
iRenée

Opinionated Sheep?

The publishing industry: it’s a changing sphere at present, and one in which everyone seems to be strongly opinionated. Yesterday I even had a tyre manufacturer tell me what was happening to publishing. Interesting. Although he seemed to become sidetracked when I mentioned piracy and went on a tangent about pirates (the type with eye patches and peg legs)

Myself, I am finding it hard to hold a fixated opinion on what is happening in this fast-changing industry, because just as quickly as I feel up to date and informed, something else occurs.  iPad, Kindle, Amazon, ibooks… while we slumber in New Zealand and the rest of the world is at work, a lot goes on. I wake to newsfeeds, tweets and opinionated peers relaying publishing extravaganzas.

Big ups must go to us New Zealanders though – for we are actually far from slumbering. Copyright Licensing Limited, Digital Publishing New Zealand and the Publishers Association of New Zealand have some awesome initiatives to ensure New Zealand isn’t left behind. We may be a country dominated by white woolly mammals, but sheep we are not.

All this industry activity hasn’t left me with much time for reading however. In fact, I fear I may about to be evicted from book club. And I am financially propping up my local library with the amount of fines my unread books are incurring (wonder if my accountant will let me write this off as a donation?) They may have brought in user-pays at Tauranga Library, but all you Aucklanders can rest assured my fines are averting us from this course. Just doing my bit for the society of book-lovers.

Also jutting into my reading time are my valiant attempts to learn Arabic. I practiced some out on my Egyptian friend last week. I attempted “May I see the wine list please?” which apparently, and to his hilarity, came across as “I am a carnivore and need to eat!!”

New Zealand may be a great place for publishing innovation and libraries, even interesting tyre manufacturers -but perhaps not so much for learning another language.